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elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

(via zackisontumblr)

wankbankofamerica:

i will literally try to pet any cat i can don’t doubt me

(via succeeding)

izzetheking:

How is sponge bob a sponge if everyone in his family are chocolate chip cookies

(via greed)

One time in class, I got fed up

This was one of my favorite teachers ever, he didn't believe in homework and was just the coolest dude ever

Teacher: I won't be here tomorrow so I left worksheets for the teacher to give you.

Kid: why can't we watch a movie?

Teacher: because the school board doesn't like us to show you movies that don't have anything to do with the curriculum. They say that movies are for home and we need to keep your home life separate from your school life.

Me: then why do they give us homework?

Whole class: .....

Teacher: .....

President: .....

Miley Cyrus: ....

Me: ....

Teacher: Samantha, please. Whatever you do. Bring this up with the principal because that's the best argument I have ever heard.

guys

lanadelreynudes:

aru:

if i ever see any of you in public, the code is

image

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

 

(via greed)

jonasbrothers:

cokeflow:

Shrek came out 13 years ago

I didn’t know shrek was gay

(via succeeding)

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